A Beautiful Rose

They say there are seasons, they say that time will heal but neither seasons nor time can change the way i feel because no one knows the heartache that lies beyond my smiles. No one knows how many times i have broken down and cried neither do i but i guess my God knows.

Am feeling all out of place, throwing things, crying and trying to figure out where the hell i went wrong

You were all i got, you had such a beautiful soul and such a big heart. It was too early for you to leave and you know the most hurting part? You never said a word not even a common good bye you just walked out the door and out of my life for good. I must admit though that i will never set eyes on you ever again and that for me, life will never be the way it used to be.

I saw the earth swallow you up in that coffin, it’s a part of me that i wish i could forget but its not easy, I have cried for so many nights hoping that someone will shake me from this horrible nightmare but its been too long and i don't think someone will ever do that for me.

When you were lowered into the earths belly, my soul was lowered with you and now i just can’t move on. Life is such a torture to the remaining pieces of me.

I wish i had time to prepare for the worst but we both did not have the time it all happened so fast. I know that wherever you are, you want me to stop crying myself to sleep every night but i want you to know one thing; I have tried but the tears keep coming, they keep flowing and its because my soul is in pieces, my heart is burning, my feet are unstable and my brain is overloaded all these combined, they are too much for me to carry so i keep falling down and i keep crying too.

I guess am not strong enough but does my strength count? No it doesn't if it were in consideration, then you would have lived a little longer to give me time to gather some strength.

As i go on writing.......my tears too keep flowing but one thing is for real, the pain reflected in this article is not even half of what i feel deep inside me.

At times i ask myself why were you picked and all i come up with is that our heavenly father found you too good to be with me so he decided to take you home.

Everyday in my prayers there are things that i keep asking him.” Please father, allow him into your heavenly kingdom if you can, throw him in hell if you must but please don't throw him to the scrap pile.

My beautiful rose, i have nothing to live for but i still live through, I have no reason to smile but i still smile not because life is full of reasons to smile but because my smile is enough reason for other people to smile.

You were a beautiful rose that shouldn't have been picked from my bed of roses but now that you were picked MAY YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL REST IN ETERNAL PEACE. LOVE ALWAYS.

© naomi 2009