The Roadblock

Every matatu that passes through this particular roadblock must stop and part with Kshs. 100. If a matatu has already paid the money on a previous trip then all they have to do is flash their lights then pass without having to stop. It’s not an exact science and the cops are sometimes duped as the matatus are many thereby making it difficult for them to know who has paid and who hasn’t. So last week a matatu which hadn't paid the required sum that day was carjacked en route and the thugs happened to know the routine at the roadblock and when they neared it they instructed the driver at gunpoint to flash the lights. He did so and the vehicle passed without a hustle.

© james wamathai 2009

Subtle Bribery

I was at work when the dealer called. Apparently someone had bought me a car and he wanted me to pass by so that we could work out the finer details before delivery could take place. At first I said no, partly because I don’t accept expensive gifts as they usually have strings attached. I was about to hang up when i decided to find out who had purchased the gift for me. When he told me who it was I changed my mind. After work I went to his place of business, filled the paperwork, picked a colour and a few days later it was delivered. I still had not gotten over having a brand new car when my neighbour called. She informed me that there were two vehicles belonging to a private security firm outside my gate and they had been there a while. It was time to leave for home anyway so I did just that and in a hurry. When I got there, a man in a suit got out of one of the cars and proceeded to explain the situation. The security was also courtesy of my new benefactor it turned out. I just let them into my compound without a word.

Exactly a week later a real estate agent came to see me at the office with documents relating to a townhouse and before I could digest that, the bank called. Someone had transferred a substantial amount of money to my account. I decided I had had enough and was bout to pick up the phone when I remembered something. My benefactor and I had a history. We dated for a quite a while when we were younger. That was before she became rich, before she got married. I know quite a lot about her; how she started out and how she made her money. I know for a fact that her first deals weren’t straight forward, they were illegal even. That and our sex tapes, which I still had, must be the reason why she was being so generous. She had joined politics. She was a recently appointed assistant minister even. It appeared that she was pre-empting a blackmail attempt. After my reverie I decided to enjoy the free stuff because after all I had not asked for them in the first place. I signed the townhouse documents then called the bank and lied that I was actually expecting the transfer but it had slipped my mind. I eventually called to thank her. She didn’t say much but promised to make time during the week for dinner so that we could talk. We have a lot to talk about, I thought to myself.


© james wamathai 2009

Dilemma

I work in the procurement department of a Government institution. Due to past cases of corruption and theft through collusion we now operate under strict rules and regulations which we have to follow to the letter. One of them is that a purchase order must be printed otherwise it’s not valid. The only way around this, is by authority of the board which only meets three times in a year.

So one day it happened that a supplier we had given a large order for computer consumables, which included printer toner cartridges, informed us that he couldn’t deliver. We cancelled that order and started the process of issuing a new one to another company which took some time due to the number of signatures of approval it required. By the time it was finally approved there wasn’t any toners left in the store and the ones installed in printers had already run out of ink meaning we couldn’t print the purchase order in the precincts of the institution. The new supplier was willing to help us out by delivering a few units but there was no way security could allow goods to enter the premises without an accompanying copy of a purchase order as per the rules. As you can see we were in a quite a predicament. The board had to hold a special meeting to rescue the situation.

© james wamathai 2009

Real Vs Online

My real self is shy and unsure
I’m an absolute introvert
Face to face chats are awkward
I never seem to know what to say
My online self is the complete opposite
I’m suave, witty and confident
People find me interesting and cool
They are always clamouring for my attention
If they only knew

© james wamathai 2009

My First Time

It’s my very first time
I don’t want to seem anxious
And dampen the mood
I don’t want to rush it
And spoil the moment
I plan to enjoy myself
And savour the moment
When i get on that stage
I shall sing like no one has before.

© james wamathai 2009

More Than Friends

You insist that we are friends and should remain so
But I disagree and here’s why;
We not only get along but you understand me
While others think I’m weird, you think I’m different
In a special and interesting way
You genuinely love me and are always looking out for me
You enjoy my company and we have fun together
You are kind and its endearing
The way I see it we are beyond being friends
And I would like us to explore that further
Because in my opinion there is no one better
I could think of to entrust my heart with
I’m I making any sense?

© james wamathai 2009

Africa

In Africa, we don’t need a common customs union
We don’t need to copy something that exists somewhere else
Everything that has worked elsewhere won’t necessarily work here
We also don’t need external help with our growth and development
We can come up with solutions that work better for us
We can create strong partnerships with each other
We can make it easier to trade with each other
Through abolishing of trade barriers and restrictions
We can use African resources in Africa
And help develop this great continent of ours
We can make it easier to travel within Africa for Africans
We can build interconnecting infrastructure
We can improve governance in our countries
And maybe all of Africa will fully develop and become self sustaining

© james wamathai 2009

The Art of Flirting

I am seated in a matatu.
The woman next to me is very pretty
I wouldn’t mind talking to her
But how do I do it with
a guaranteed positive response?
I try the subtle mysterious approach first
I look out the window and twist my body into a cool pose
Hoping she will notice me and say something
It doesn’t work. She hardly glances my way
Next, I try the stare approach
She stares back for a while but then turns away
Strike two. I decide to give it a final try
I turn to her, smile and say hi
She smiles back, says hi and we start conversing
Now why didn’t I try that in the beginning?

© james wamathai 2009

Destructive High

I wanted to get really high
So I took pills
Drank whisky
Smoked weed
Drank vodka
Snorted coke
Now am choking on my own vomit
Inches away from death

© james wamathai 2009

Amnesia

What happened yesterday after I left work is a bit hazy. I remember meeting a friend and then parting ways with him after his wife called. After that I don’t have a recollection of what took place. I must have really drunk though because my head feels like a train run over it a couple of times. How did I get myself home in one piece and the way Nairobi has become dangerous of late.

Is it me or is my bed bigger? Can’t be, it must be the alcohol in my system making me think that. My wife is sleeping next to me on her stomach facing the other way. I could swear her behind looks bigger today. Her hairstyle is different from yesterday. No, my eyes must be deceiving me. I go to the bathroom and switch on the lights. Even in my state I notice that the lights are too bright. Didn’t I install low wattage bulbs in the whole house just last week? I decide to go the kitchen and get something cold to drink. I fall down a flight of stairs. Since when does my house have an upstairs? I head outside. Maybe some fresh air will help me make sense of it all. In the garden there are coconut trees and beyond it I can see the ocean. Good God!! Where am i? How did I get here? Who is the woman upstairs?

© james wamathai 2009

Lions, Bears & Dinosaurs

Lions symbolize my reality
Something that I have
Something that I have seen
Something that I have knowledge of

Bears symbolize my dreams
Something that I don’t have but I can get
Something that I have never achieved
But is within my reach

Dinosaurs symbolize my fantasy
Something that exists only in my imagination
Something that I can never hope to experience
For as long as I’m alive

© james wamathai 2009

When I’m gone

I don’t want fame
I don’t want fortune
I don’t want recognition
I want to make a difference
I want to touch people’s hearts
I want to leave a mark
I want to be remembered
In a good light
When I’m gone


© james wamathai 2009

Departed

I refuse to believe it
i feel devastated
Guilt is racking me.
i shouldn’t have let us drift apart
i will never get the chance
to atone for my mistake
or see you again
You are gone now
But you will always be in my heart
And i shall never forget you

© james wamathai 2009

****For My friend Harris 'Baraf' Mwalavu. I miss you.