Mr Dj

Mr Dj, I’m trying to get you on the line
I have called a thousand times but I can’t get through
I have made my girl really mad and she’s not talking to me
The woman is a keeper and I don’t want to lose her
She likes your show and I know she is listening
I want you to apologize on my behalf and play her favorite song
Tell everyone else to quit calling so that I can get ahold of you
Please Mr. Dj, this is a matter of life and death


© james wamathai 2009

Turncoat

My helper has turned into an abuser
My angel has turned into a demon
Insisting that I do things
I can’t even mention in public
Everyone I try talk to about it
Claims that I’m out to tarnish his good name
Who will I turn to for help?

© james wamathai 2009

Oddities

She got mad because i was chatty after we had sex
She sleep walked to my housemate’s bed
She bit me when she gave me head
She only become interested in me after I started dating
She loves me but she wants to date someone else

He moaned so loudly when they had sex that he woke the neighbours
He caught his girlfriend in bed with another woman
He cheated on her with six of her relatives
He started pursuing her after I showed interest
He had sex with her at a party while her boyfriend was in another room

© james wamathai 2009

Busted

It was noon by my watch but I was already tired and I felt like I had been working non stop for ten hours. On top of that I was having a really bad day. Everything seemed to go wrong. The fact that my assistant had the day off and I was doing work for two didn’t help matters. My boss noticed that I was stressed out and when an issue cropped up at the bank that needed to be sorted out, he suggested I go so that I could at least get out of the office and cool off a bit. There was no company car available so I boarded a bus. Coincidentally the bank was on the same route as my home but 10 kilometers apart. The distance to the bank was short but there was heavy traffic so I expected to take longer than usual to get there. That was fine since I wasn’t in any hurry to get back to the office and the longer it took the better it would be for me. I looked out the window and completely zoned out and even when the conductor asked for my fare I gave it to him without even glancing in his direction. He said something inaudible which I nodded to and he moved on.

The bus stopped and I alighted. I walked a bit, climbed a flight of stairs, unlocked a door and stepped inside. Someone let out a cry of surprise, dropped a tray with glasses of something and then jumped back. It was my wife, in a bathrobe, staring at me like I was a ghost. I had scared her. I apologized. “What are you doing home at this time?” she asked shakily. Good question. Last time I checked I was supposed to be at the bank. I gave her an indifferent answer and turned to leave. Something caught my eye and I stopped. A man’s shoes, certainly not mine. They looked familiar. I looked at her. She looked away. I guessed the obvious and strode into the bedroom. My assistant was there naked and in between the sheets.


© james wamathai 2009