Forgiveness (Asking For)

I stand before this court not for the world and its occupants to judge or sympathize with me but, your majesty, I stand here to free my heart from the uneasy feeling that has engulfed it hoping that the world will hold no hard feelings against me and that instead, the world will hold out its hands for me to hold and feel better.

I have a case to plead but before I do, your majesty allow me to quote from my heart.

‘When it rains we don’t see the sun but its there, we all don’t always see each other but we are supposed to be there for one another. A true friend is like a pillow!!!when you are sad, you drop your tears on it, when tired you sleep on it,when angry you punch it and when happy you hug it. Thats how the world should be.’

As quoted above, am a failure your majesty. I wasn’t a pillow for my friends when they really needed me and for that I plead guilty.

On several occasions I have made decisions that have hurt my friends, not because I wanted to hurt them but because I wanted all of us to meet our needs at the same level but that ended up in bitter exchange of words and I was left hopeless.

I tried a third party when things got so bad hoping that we would get back together but instead my friend thought that I did it to betray our friendship and the vows that we had.

Lonely and desperate to make friends I kept to myself what I really felt and made friends elsewhere, this made my friends wounds fresher and deeper because they thought that I had thrown what we had deep into the gutters.

Deep inside my heart I knew that they were hurting as much as I was but I did not know how to get back to their hearts to say I was sorry.

Left helpless and desperate I decided to talk to them to free my conscience but when I made that call someone else’s voice barred me from the link I would have forged. I did not know what else to do.

Your majesty, am hopeless, desperate and hurting because I don’t want to lose this friend. He/she is all I got. I have pleaded and stated my case, you have a call to answer here I am awaiting my sentence and the say of the world.

Your majesty while sentencing me please remember that its not only me, there are many more like me in the world and we all hope to get our friends back because its only once in a life time that we find a friend who not only touches our hearts but also our souls, once in a lifetime, we discover someone who stands beside us and not over us, once in a lifetime, if you are lucky, you will find someone as I found them.

Your majesty, very special people are those we talk with, laugh with, hope with and lean on……….PEOPLE LIKE YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSONS.

© Naomi 2009.