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Advice

Susan* has been going out with this guy for 6 months. She is planning to relocate to Dubai in a few months which her boyfriend is aware of. Before she made this decision they talked about it and he had no problem with it. They agreed that he would visit after a year. Two months ago she noticed a change in him. He is not giving her attention as he used to and they neither hang out nor go out like before. She suspects that he is seeing someone else but she can't prove it. She says that she doesn't want to break up and its really bugging her. What do you think she should do?


*not her real name

Brobdingnagian Bards

Today i discovered a very funny song by Brobdingnagian Bards, a Celtic music group, titled 'Donald where's your trousers'. Listen to it here and you read the lyrics here

Love letter from an accountant

In the Journal of my heart,
I have written a Journal Entry,
Debiting my love & crediting my affection,
Now partner, you write the Narration.

Your beauty is the Capital of our business,
And your eyes are Stock In Trade,
Now let us enter into a Transaction,
Without providing Depreciation.

Your first love I have already indicated,
On the Ledger Folio column,
Any way, our relations are based on,
Double Entry System.

Our love is Real & Tangible,
Which can be realized,
Interest on the same,
Can be capitalized.

Partner, you are like a Contra Entry,
You are on my Debit Side & Credit Side,
Both at the same time,
Can it be posted into Ledger, that now you decide.

And so my partner now let us Rectify,
All our errors & total the Trial Balance,
Of our affairs & emotions,
Without maintaining any Suspense Account.

And any difference in the Trial Balance,
In the Balance Sheet of our life,
Our children will be Assets & Liabilities,
If they are boys, shall we call them Sundry Debtors?
If they are girls, shall we call them Sundry Creditors?

But if we have a boy & a girl,
Our Balance Sheet will Tally automatically,
And the Auditor will certify like this,

"THE ACCOUNT SHOWS A TRUE & FAIR VIEW OF LOVELY BUSINESS CONDUCTED DURING LIFE'S ACCOUNTS"

Lovemaking

A touch of skin. Electrifying emotions that stimulate pure intoxication. .
Skin gets soft, slippery and sweaty as your hands flow over me. .
Our eyes meet briefly begging for a chance. . A certain hunger flows in my body at this moment. .
The floor is the stage, your wet lips press against mine. . I kiss you back passionately like l've been waiting for this moment. .
You move to my neck, l feel your fast breath, then you go to my nipples with your eager lips. . Every time you do that, it gets more and more fulfilling. You move on top of me. .
My legs move apart automatically. . I feel the sensations as you go deep inside me. . I let it all go and let you be in control. .
I feel you as you pause inside me. . Then as you push in and pull out. I moan from the pure delight and ecstasy..
As my gasp breaks the kiss, your hands are all over me. . The slow rhythm gives way to thrusts of passion. .
I grasp and release you, grasp and release you. . My toes curl. .
I’m quiet; your warm body against mine is breathtaking. .

Then you collapse on top of me. . Still hot and burning. . .

© Winnie Salome 2009

The New Look Tusker Malt Bottle

The New Look Tusker Malt Bottle. Don't ask me how i got the picture.

Groovy Tracks

I love damages the series but I love the theme song ‘When I am through with you’ by The VLA even more. Don’t let my apparent familiarity with the song fool you, I found out its name and the band who sung it just yesterday. The song belongs to a genre, rock, which I feel nothing for but I’m a music fan who loves groovy tracks which is one of reasons why I love this particular one. I love groovy tracks for an obvious reason, I can dance to them. I have another reason for loving them, one that I have never shared. If I were ever to put on background music while I was having sex it would definitely be something groovy, that slow turn the lights down low stuff just wouldn’t work for me.

Download ‘When I am through with you’ by The VLA here. I did and since then It has been on repeat.

Learn more about the VLA Band here http://www.myspace.com/thevlaband

Do have a lovely and groovy day.

The 12 most annoying types of Facebookers

1. The Let-Me-Tell-You-Every-Detail-of-My-Day Bore. "I'm waking up." "I had Wheaties for breakfast." "I'm bored at work." "I'm stuck in traffic." You're kidding! How fascinating! No moment is too mundane for some people to broadcast unsolicited to the world. Just because you have 432 Facebook friends doesn't mean we all want to know when you're waiting for the bus.
Don't Miss

2. The Self-Promoter. OK, so we've probably all posted at least once about some achievement. And sure, maybe your friends really do want to read the fascinating article you wrote about beet farming. But when almost EVERY update is a link to your blog, your poetry reading, your 10k results or your art show, you sound like a bragger or a self-centered careerist.

3. The Friend-Padder. The average Facebook user has 120 friends on the site. Schmoozers and social butterflies -- you know, the ones who make lifelong pals on the subway -- might reasonably have 300 or 400. But 1,000 "friends?" Unless you're George Clooney or just won the lottery, no one has that many. That's just showing off.

4. The Town Crier. "Michael Jackson is dead!!!" You heard it from me first! Me, and the 213,000 other people who all saw it on TMZ. These Matt Drudge wannabes are the reason many of us learn of breaking news not from TV or news sites but from online social networks. In their rush to trumpet the news, these people also spread rumors, half-truths and innuendo. No, Jeff Goldblum did not plunge to his death from a New Zealand cliff.

5. The TMIer. "Brad is heading to Walgreens to buy something for these pesky hemorrhoids." Boundaries of privacy and decorum don't seem to exist for these too-much-information updaters, who unabashedly offer up details about their sex lives, marital troubles and bodily functions. Thanks for sharing.

6. The Bad Grammarian. "So sad about Fara Fauset but Im so gladd its friday yippe". Yes, I know the punctuation rules are different in the digital world. And, no, no one likes a spelling-Nazi schoolmarm. But you sound like a moron.

7. The Sympathy-Baiter. "Barbara is feeling sad today." "Man, am I glad that's over." "Jim could really use some good news about now." Like anglers hunting for fish, these sad sacks cast out their hooks -- baited with vague tales of woe -- in the hopes of landing concerned responses. Genuine bad news is one thing, but these manipulative posts are just pleas for attention.

8. The Lurker. The Peeping Toms of Facebook, these voyeurs are too cautious, or maybe too lazy, to update their status or write on your wall. But once in a while, you'll be talking to them and they'll mention something you posted, so you know they're on your page, hiding in the shadows. It's just a little creepy.

9. The Crank. These curmudgeons, like the trolls who spew hate in blog comments, never met something they couldn't complain about. "Carl isn't really that impressed with idiots who don't realize how idiotic they are." [Actual status update.] Keep spreading the love.

10. The Paparazzo. Ever visit your Facebook page and discover that someone's posted a photo of you from last weekend's party -- a photo you didn't authorize and haven't even seen? You'd really rather not have to explain to your mom why you were leering like a drunken hyena and French-kissing a bottle of Jagermeister.

11. The Obscurist. "If not now then when?" "You'll see..." "Grist for the mill." "John is, small world." "Dave thought he was immune, but no. No, he is not." [Actual status updates, all.] Sorry, but you're not being mysterious -- just nonsensical.
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12. The Chronic Inviter. "Support my cause. Sign my petition. Play Mafia Wars with me. Which 'Star Trek' character are you? Here are the 'Top 5 cars I have personally owned.' Here are '25 Things About Me.' Here's a drink. What drink are you? We're related! I took the 'What President Are You?' quiz and found out I'm Millard Fillmore! What president are you?"

You probably mean well, but stop. Just stop. I don't care what president I am -- can't we simply be friends?

By Brandon Griggs

Read the full article here

May i feel said he

may i feel said he
i’ll squeal said she
just once said he
it’s fun said she

may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he
why not said she

let’s go said he
not too far said she
what’s too far said he
where you are said she

may i stay said he
which way said she
like i said he
if you kiss said she

may i move said he
is it love said she
if you’re willing said he
but you are killing said she

but it’s life said he
but your wife said she
now said he
ow said she

tiptop said he
don’t stop said she
oh no said he
go slow said she

cccome? said he
ummm said she
you’re divine! said he
you are mine said she


A poem by e. e. cummins

Advice

My pal Simon (Not his real name) has been going out with this chick for 5 years. They love each other and he thought that things were going well but she recently asked for space which he agreed to.

Now he is wondering what to do, whether to just move on or wait for her? What would you advice.

Threesome

A threesome is considered by many to be the ultimate male fantasy. Sometimes fantasies do come true and if this one does come true you have to be prepared.

Askmen.com has a whole article on it which I have reproduced for your benefit.

Threesomes are not like regular sex -- they require both imagination and sensitivity. If you plan on having a threesome, you need to go into the situation with some idea of what you're going to be doing, you need some threesome rules.

Understanding these basic threesome rules will help you avoid some common mistakes that typically prevent you from getting the most out of your ménage à trois. There are various types of threesomes that you can enjoy, but we're betting that you're hoping for the type with two women, one of whom is likely yourbisexual or bi-curious girlfriend or wife. What follows are the basic threesome rules on how to handle such a delectable, and potentially sticky, sexual situation.

THREESOME RULE NO. 1
Establish the rules
You're going to have sex with two women and all three of you have your own rules and limits, so understanding and respecting one another's comfort levels should be a top priority when you're establishing your threesome rules.

Because your relationship with your woman will likely be affected by this new experience, you need to be absolutely clear on which acts she's comfortable with -- and what to avoid doing -- in advance. She may tell you that she's uncomfortable with the idea of you penetrating another woman or even pleasing another woman orally.

You must respect her limits. Remember that each woman may suddenly feel jealous, so try your best not to shut either woman out and always give more attention to the woman with whom you have a relationship -- this is an extremely important threesome rule.

As well, you may end up feeling jealous if you're not the center of attention. Just keep in mind that the object of the game is to share sex between three people.

Also, remember that although some people try to drink their way to bravery for a threesome, drunken sex usually ends up being bad sex. If you want to have a cocktail or two to loosen up, that's fine, but no more. You want to be at peak performance.


THREESOME RULE NO. 2
Be as giving as you can
Although you may be hoping that the two women will give you 100% of their attention, the truth is that they're there to please each other just as much as they're there to please you. You may end up feeling ignored and should do your best to get over it.

The best way to approach this situation, and an important threesome rule to follow, is to forget your feelings for a moment and try to be as generous with your hands and mouth as you can.

Pleasure in one-on-one sex goes back and forth, but in a threesome it's more of a cycle that moves from person to person. So be patient; focus on turning both women on and the attention will come back to you.

Whatever pleasure you get in a threesome is a treat, so instead of expecting anything in particular (like getting oral sexfrom both women at once), enjoy everything that comes your way.

Keeping your hands moving and knowing when to penetrate are important threesome rules
THREESOME RULE NO. 3
Keep yourself busy
When you find that both women are busy pleasuring each other and you have nothing to do, keep yourself busy. Take matters into your own hands and find something to do.

Caress the breasts, thighs or vagina(s) of one or both women, kiss their backs or necks, or give oral sex to one if she's in a position that allows you to (believe us, this will redirect attention toward you in a hurry).

If you decide instead just to pleasure yourself for a little while, don't feel bad; the action will come back to you soon enough.

THREESOME RULE NO. 4
Be careful with penetration
Penetration automatically forms a serious bond between you and one woman, leaving the other out. For this reason, penetrate only when you're sure both women are comfortable with it.

Your natural inclination will be to pay close attention to the woman you're having sex with, but you mustn't focus on her entirely. This is about the three of you, so keep that ideal close at hand. Kiss and touch the other woman, look her in the eye, and talk to her if the mood is appropriate.

Be aware that you may feel overwhelmed with pleasure if you're thrusting into one woman and kissing and caressing another, meaning that you might climax more quickly than expected. Take it slowly and pace yourself.

And don't get so excited that you lose track of the women: All three of you should be sexually satisfied and, even if you achieve climax first, you must do everything you can to bring your two partners to orgasm.

THREESOME RULE NO. 5
Be safe
Condoms are a necessity, obviously. Semen, vaginal fluid and menstrual blood transmit STDs, so use one specific hand to pleasure one specific woman and use the other hand on the other woman -- and keep it that way. You must never alternate.

Likewise, if you're having intercourse with both women, you must also use a separate condom with each partner. As well, dental dams are a good precaution for oral sex. Lubricate the side that you place against a woman's skin for better sensation.

IT'S NOT A RELATIONSHIP
Afterward, lie around with both women in post-coital bliss. However, remember it's not a relationship. This means that the third person likely shouldn't sleep over. It may seem like a great idea in the moment, but prolonging a threesomeis a recipe for total disaster.

Be reassuring to your girlfriend or wife. You've had fun, but it's only pleasure and experimentation. Tell her that she turns you on, that seeing her being pleasured by another woman aroused you, and that while you enjoyed yourself, there's no one for you but her. She's your primary concern, so if you let her know it, you may well have more threesome adventures in the future.

Celebrity

This is my attempt at an opinion piece.

A celebrity by definition is a famous or well-known person.In Kenya some people assume that just because they appear on TV or that they are in the public eye somewhat then that makes them celebrities. They couldn't be more wrong. Someone should tell the likes of kaytrixx and Christine Apondi that they are nowhere near being the celebrities they claim to be.

That is not to say that we don't have celebrities in Kenya.In my opinion Juacali, Nonini, DJ Stylez and Cecilia Mwangi are some of them.



Juacali



DJ Stylez



Cecilia Mwangi



Nonini

Your Comments

I have enjoyed all the feedback in terms of comments whether negative or positive, I want to share some of the interesting ones.

The Haters

Anonymous on How i met him
r u gay?

The Subject of my post responded

Manjeru on Majeru - lalalala
thanks for the love.
Manjeru


The Compliments

Gabby on when i'm gone
You already left a mark, the word Poem always comes with James Tagged on it. That will be hard to erase from my mind...

The Advertisers

Elle on Lions, Bears & Dinosaurs
I like this very much...visit the blog for some stuff I do ;~))
http://myheartscripted.blogspot.com/

The Wierd Ones

Joyunspeakable on Amnesia
Yames...wamasai
Now you are lucky.
In coast we make you wake up
On a coconut tree?
The jinis just misread your name...

James on My Ex
cant compare her with currency

Dorynk on When you smile
if u wanted me to smile,u have it in abundance,ope i dont knock the wall with this complement

The honest ones

Kathesya on My First Time
clearly most of us have our minds in the gutters....me included lol. nice one

The Teachers

Mundia on What I love about you

Great, That's a wonderful poem. It expreses compliments...But 'I' is a proper noun so It should be capital through out...refer to lines 2 and 6 please. Mundia Joe Santos

Post with the most comments

White woman



Savvykenya inspired this post (or rather i stole her idea, i hope i don't get sued).

This time

I offer myself
Not as a broken vessel
But as a budding strength
Not with my I before
But with You ahead
First

This is the love I offer
My sacrifice of self
To match the steps you take through your journey
To glory at your side
For that would content my heart

Even through pain
This love will be gain
For over and above feeling
Love is an action
And the relentless thoughts of you I have by every instant
Chase you with well-wishes too

Hear my remorse; my prior offences have been plentiful
Just is your dispassion, your resentment
My hope lies in its decease
But still
Even then
This is my offering
My unattached love
My definitive precursor

I will offer nothing of myself that in itself cost me nothing

© Juliana Ohayo

In that order

this just came to me now. uncut, unedited version.
lemmi try to read the scribbles in my note book.
enjoy...


smile
kiss
breath, you, in...
musky, woody, scent
breath, you, in...
i find heaven between your neck and shoulder

trickling down the arc of my back
blowing through the folds of my ear lobe
sweat
hot air
in that order

the wetness, let it pour
salty, sticky
this
sex funk

breathe, you, in...
the oil i put in your hair
the chap stick on your lips
the cologne you spray between your neck and shoulder
i truly find heaven between your neck and shoulder
the spot at the back of your neck,
where
when i touch, you shudder

breath, you, in...
musky, woody, scent

your chest, your core
so much than the physical
your heart beats for me and you
your hands, keepers of my heart
your finger tips...
"i can't breathe"
your finger tips

that butt!
hahaha!
those legs,
those legs and those feet,
that bring you to me
every time
last month and week,
yesterday and tomorrow,
those legs that find their way to me

"look at me"
breath, you, in...
musky, woody, scent

the wetness
let it pour
salty, sticky
this
sex
funk

kindred spirits
sex on fire

i find heaven, between your neck and shoulder.

© Wairema Mathenge.

I see You

I see you
I see you, brother
I see you... With your muscular frame, and your toned body, and your brown eyes
those eyes that seem to see through the shell that is my body to my spirit
those eyes that seem to see through my flesh to my soul
those eyes that seem to read my thoughts and my fears and my desires and my hopes and my dreams...

I see you
I see you, brother
I see you and that smile...
that smile has got me melting to the ground ever so slowly
it's got me wanting you so badly
your smile has me gasping and sighing and thanking and praising God!
for creating something so soothing and so moving
it's got me thinking of 'we' and not just 'you' and 'me'...

I see you
I see you, brother
I see you and those lips
they have me running and tripping and sliding and falling for you so deeply
Those lips, what is it about those lips that...
Seem to be controlling my heart beat and my hormones and my adrenaline and my emotions...
your lips have got me licking mine and thinking of how it would be worth my while if i got to have just a little time, with those lips...
They've got me thinking of bodies clinging and heavy breathing and sweat trickling and me almost screaming...

I see you
I see you, brother
I see you and that skin
that skin that's got me wanting you to be my African King
that skin that's got me wanting to be part of your kin-ship
that skin that's got me wanting more than friend-ship
that skin that's got me thinking of me and you having relations...
Or maybe, being in a relation-ship
that skin that's got me craving your touch
yours is skin that got me wanting maybe too much
it's got me wanting you... And then some
more... Of... You...

I see you
I see you, brother
I see you, watching me...
What do you see?

© Wairema Mathenge.

My Offering

I will offer nothing of myself that in itself cost me nothing

This love I offer
This feeling
This action
It is a choice
I am no longer plagued by the tension behind unrequited love
The battle between the desire for your love to be mine and the desire that I would never have loved you has ceased

This love I offer, it has cost me
It cost me my existence
It cost me my being
It cost me my blood
But this choice I make
In the finest of my sanity
To give it to you

Rejection, in all its plausibility
Will not deter me
I offer it to you
That you would know
And it may resonate in the depths of your soul
That the shoulder that would soak your tears, I carry
That the fears you veil, I will understand
That I will allow my spine to transform under the weight of your burdens, if only for love

© Juliana Ohayo

Yield

yield (verb)
to give up; to surrender

he carries a yield sign that only my heart can see

in my sleep
he comes to me
my over-eagerness,
continually contributes to my consistent insomnia
head on pillow
eyes closed shut
breathing slowed down,
he is mine.
the love is tainted
but it is love nevertheless
and he is mine

i awake
he is gone
leaving me feeling bitch slapped
twice!

stimulus
the reactions he causes;
emotions evoked,
walls broken.

my bricks are lost

i cannot fathom the sweet, sweet agony
that is him.
his smile is art
my restraint is ebbing
i marvel at his being
my love, sacred.

he carries a yield sign that only my heart can see.


© Wairema Mathenge

Poetry Medley

Kiss, lips, gosh...
My girl says I be the best
Hahahaha....I can't stop kissing her though
Cos she admits without knowing
She has kissed or been kissed by others
I love her kisses too
I have to do so
Cos they are hottest lips those
And I quite understand
When I have to share that hotness
With other wannabes.

Joe Kirigia

As i passed through,
i stopped 2 say a prayer,
The scotching sun was 2 hot even 4 me 2 bare,
I prayed that the cloth on ma back would last just a while longer,
i prayed that it would not tare.
I prayed 2 have enough,even abit 2 spare,
I prayed 4 peace.....with whom shall i share?

David Mishram

The Day you stop smiling
The day you stop believing
The day you stop dreaming
is the day you stop living

James wamathai

Love… Simply Put

Good morning Love.

Its been a while since we spoke. I miss your sound. The melody you strummed my heart to. The whispers into my spirit. The way you caressed my soul. The blinding sight of you. The way you excited senses I never knew I had, senses only you have the ability to awaken.

You were young then, I was immature in my knowledge of you. I heard you but I didn’t understand you. You led me through skies pinned with flighty kisses during the day and at night you wrote poems to me with the stars. It wasn’t your tools that enchanted me, as I once thought. It wasn’t the vessels you came to me through; charming as they were. It was just You…and I realize that now.

The war I waged has no place anymore because you have submerged me in the catastrophic beauty of your simplicity. The foolishness, the dysfunction, the sheer insanity that I suffocated you with was an upset to your harmony. They say I am naïve to chose to trust in you again, so implicitly…without reserve. They say that I would be wise to be cautious, even cynical… but if I have learnt nothing from our encounters, this much I shall stand by - I know that you are as real as the words poured on this screen, as the innocence of my niece’s smile, as the security of mother’s hug, as the breathtaking colours of yesterday’s sunset, as the affection of a lover’s kiss…as the life in my blood. I don’t doubt you’re there. “I’ve been burned but I still returned”. God must love me…He must love humanity…so very much for the chance to partake in the grace of your tender embrace. Whether the stuff of idealism, this is my truth…regardless of who takes it and who leaves it.

Until we meet again, Goodnight Love.

I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around…and I’ll take in every breath you exhale until you're mine once more.

© Juliana Ohayo